It is a natural human tendency to fight to be first. It manifests itself in many different ways, but perhaps my favorite is the relatively new option of ordering food ahead through apps and skipping the line. I’ve never done drugs, but I can’t imagine it’s better than the feeling of walking past six people waiting in line at Dunkin’ and grabbing my pre-ordered coffee off the counter and walking out smugly. I may well do time in purgatory for how much I enjoy it, frankly. Which is why Jesus’ words in the Gospel today should give us pause and invite us to step back and think about how we approach our relationship with the world around us.

In answering a question about how many will be saved, Jesus doesn’t give a percentage breakdown or deal in exact numbers, but he does warn us that if we do not seek humility and die to ourselves, then we must be purified later, or
else be permanently set into the selfish and godless mentality of choosing self over others and God. The legendary basketball coach, John Wooden, once said that we can either discipline ourselves, or the world will do it for us. We shouldn’t think of God as a cold entity waiting to inflict justice upon us to restore balance to the world. But there is a sense in which God asks us to carry crosses specifically meant to awaken in us empathy, compassion, and a desire for the good of our fellow man. Jesus does not mince words in telling us how our indifference to the poor and needy will be our undoing. Simultaneously, this also means that an encounter with someone who is suffering or in need can be a way for us to be molded to be more like Christ.
 
A good friend of mine that I taught with back in the day would often talk about how marriage and family life should look like a competition to take upon ourselves the most unpleasant but necessary tasks. I imagine that you and your spouses and children aren’t fighting over who gets to clean the toilet, but there is no doubt   that if we sought to take up others’ crosses,  we would start to see family life differently.
 
As Summer draws to an end and life rolls inexorably on to the next season of challenges and joys, this is worth taking to prayer. What can you do to help your family’s prayer life? Covering a chore or getting someone out of the house to pray for a little while enriches the entire family’s experience of seeking holiness together. We should always begin with the end in mind, and if we remember that we’re meant to be assisting one another in becoming saints, and not just fighting to be first in everything we do, we can be more open to God’s grace in growing together in holiness. Just as the priests and seminarians I live with present me with opportunities to sacrifice (and I certainly do the same for them), so all of us in our families, our domestic churches, do the same.