I have noticed an increase in recent years of a worrisome trend: specifically, the phenomenon of comedy that is designed to be awkward and/or cringe-inducing. Many movies and tv shows seem to aim for making the viewer so unnerved that they laugh so as not to cry. I cannot put into words how uncomfortable it makes me, assomeone with an awkward streak of my own.

These personal hang-ups really come to the forefront in my personal experience when I hear some variants of public speaking by amateurs. Those who have lived through a bad wedding toast know exactly what I mean. Hearing embarrassing accounts of a bride or groom’s youth, delivered poorly, to a group of people who are there to celebrate their covenant is absolutely brutal. I am shuddering as I type this, remembering not only bad toasts, but also all of my failed homilies.
 
Perhaps worst of all however, is the eulogy which is in bad taste. At previous parishes I have sat through variants of eulogies ranging upwards of twenty-five minutes (!), that did little butpoint out someone’s follies or narrate a few embarrassing anecdotes. Hearing enough of these has demonstrated how difficult it is for our modern world to cope with the significance of death. Even some of the best-delivered eulogies fall short of what their purpose should be, which is to praise the fidelity of those who have gone before us and inspire their loved ones to take up the mantle and grow in holiness.

I say all of this as we enter into the month of November so that, as a parish region, we can enter more deeply into the mystery of our death, and gain wisdom and perspective about our time on this earth and the eternity for which it is meant to prepare us. I don’t mean to denigrate the desire to speak well of our beloved dead. As an Irish Catholic, I am immensely fond of the tradition of having a wake where family and friends can gather, share stories, have a laugh, and grieve together. But all of this must be done in the context of standing in awe before the mysterious end of  our days in this life, and constantly reminding ourselves that our days are limited, time is precious, and the Church calls upon us to offer prayers for the repose of the souls of the faithful departed so that God may welcome them into His loving mercy.
 
Our discomfort at confronting our own mortality was addressed beautifully by Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI. In his work on the end of life, he asked two important questions: “Is the Christian faith a hope that transforms and sustains the lives of people still today?” And more radically: “Do men and women of our time still long for eternal life? Or has earthly existence perhaps become their only horizon?” We must wrestle with these questions so as to reclaim the true beauty of our faith’s perspective on loss, death, and grief. These are incredible gifts that our Lord wants to bestow upon us, if we are patient enough to meditate upon them.
 
As we enter into this season of praying for those who have gone before us, my prayer for our parishes is that we can do a number of things. That we remember in our prayers those who have passed from this life, especially our loved ones and those who have no one to pray for them. But perhaps more importantly that we can meditate on the cross of our eventual suffering and death,  ask God for the grace to live a holy life in anticipation of that end, and have the strength to embrace that cross when the time comes. Then, sharing in the suffering and death into which our Lord Jesus Christ took upon Himself on our behalf, may we be worthy of the promises of our Father in Heaven.
 
Prayers always,
Fr. McCullough